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FINANCIAL REPORT
The Skyrim Special Edition Butterfly Affect
Butterfly's in Bethesda's new Skyrim Special Edition have nearly been hunted to extinction by the locals, they are simply so beautiful that every one must have one framed on there wall.
The new graphical enchantments that changed dull & gloomy Skyrim had a major impact on the little helpless butterfly's making them more valuable then a bar of gold. Jarl's across Skyrim are taking drastic measures as animal rights group Green Peace threatens that they will have get involved and try to stop this insane carnage.
Singes that read "Butterfly Wing Plucking Free Zone, Between the Hours of 6am - 11pm, Fines up to 5000 Septims" now litter the ever so beautiful landscape of the SSE.
Regardless of the drastic measures the numbers of Butterfly's keeps on mysteriously dropping, and now Lunar Moths have been also included on the Endangered Spices List
As the shadow of financial claps looms over Skyrim, Media outlets across Skyrim are coming forward and are revealing the magnitude of the sandal. The front page of ~THE TAMRIEL TIMES~ read like this QUOTE: "A dramatic drop in Luna Moth numbers" & "They are being targeted by invisible, healthy, light armored alchemists"
Potions of Minor Healing today reached the new record price of 830septims per bottle. The Skyrim Stock Market collapsed again for the third day strait, as Jarls & Thanes rushed to sell there shares. It has been rumored that they are investing there shares in a more respectable offshore Panama-based service provider called Mossack Fonseca
A spokes man for the Skyrim Treasury said: "Its not our fault we took such drastic measures by banning wing plucking, people where complaining, and animal rights groups where about to get involved in the case." continuing he said: "Its the greedy Alchemist Corporation that has failed to show any compassion to its heavy users & potion addicted customers by jacking up the price, if you want to place any blame, they have caused this financial chaos"
In other related news Pro Ban Wing Plucking Supporters clashed yesterday with members of the greedy Alchemist Corporation in Solitude. Angelina's Aromatics was burnt to the ground in retaliation for her over priced potions & for selling butterfly wings under the counter. Due to the Civil unrest across Skyrim, it can now be revealed form leaked footage from the Pentagon on Wiki Leaks that there has been a steady build up of Military Forces along the Imperial & Stormcloack borders & that its only a mater of time before this breaks out into the second Skyrim Civil War!...........read more

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